I May Officially Hate "What To Expect" Now

Thanks to this gem they emailed me today: their advice on Clothing Size During Pregnancy:

Believe me, there's no such thing as a typical pregnant body — but some women find it more challenging than others to find a decent frock that fits.

This much is true. Nothing fits me right. Maternity clothes, even the so-called form fitting styles, are like tents on me. Generally, I’d say I’m a size large in shirts, but in maternity shirts I am a medium, and lately even some of those have been too big (because my stomach is the part that is growing, not my shoulders but the people who make these things don't always realize that). But smalls are too small because they don’t contain any room for boobs.

But, let’s let our friends at “What To Expect” continue – what wonderful advice do they have for me, the clueless first time pregnant lady who's down to wearing pajamas all day? Hand me some wisdom, o wise ones.

At 19 weeks pregnant ... the Internet may be the best place to find maternity clothes that actually work for you.

Oh, right, the Internet. Like I didn’t already think of that. But when even trying on clothes in what is supposed to be my right size in a store is leaving me confused, how is a thumbnail pic of a model supposed to make it all better? Come on, “What To Expect,” restore my faith:

Use a search engine to scout out resources.

Oh, really? A search engine? On the internet? Pardon me, but you suck.

For a moment, I thought maybe I was just being a cranky pregnant lady. Maybe you’ve heard, we have mood swings. But come on, can’t they even suggest A PLACE to check out on the internet? One or two online stores who have reliable sizing? Or a friendly return policy? Instead, they cheerfully hand out NOTHING. I think I'm switching to the Babycenter.com emails.